


Darkness Which Heals

by finch (afinch)



Category: Gilmore Girls, How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Crossover, Gen, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afinch/pseuds/finch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paris would have been aghast. Paris would have slapped her in the face and told her that Geller women were stronger than this. </p><p>Paris would have died without having sex again. </p><p>Paris was an idiot, sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness Which Heals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fujiidom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujiidom/gifts).



> This is the most perfect prompt, Paris becoming Bonnie. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks to Livia for the last-minute check-over and beta.
> 
> Title is from You Ask Me For A Love Name [by Chrystos]
> 
> Happy Yuletide!

Paris Geller stared at the remnants of the her life. 

She should have gone to law school.

Law school would have prepped her for what was going to happen in court; law school would have prepped her for getting fantastically screwed over. 

All medical school prepped her for was the mind-numbing ways in which people were idiots. It hadn't taught her anything _clever_ , that was for certain. 

She wanted to say something to the judge instead of "you're a mindless moron and how anyone appointed you is beyond me", but she didn't have the legal jargon.

She did have a contempt of court charge, though.

It wasn't her fault. 

She'd gone to Harvard Medical School, fulfilled her (shattered) family's legacy, married Doyle, and then-

Then had come a series of events she still couldn't entirely piece together. 

Doyle was dead.  
He'd been shot during a robbery at a grocery store.  
The man who shot him was 19 and a bully.  
The child also charged was 17, hadn't fired the shot, and had been trying to feed his younger brother and sisters.  
He hadn't pulled the trigger; he deserved leniency.  
The judge had decided to try him as an adult.  
The prosecution wanted him locked up for life.  
The judge agreed.  
The public defender defending the kid never had a chance.  
Paris had testified on the kid's behalf. 

And Paris' life shattered at the sentencing, where the kid was given a life sentence. The judge wanted to appear 'tough on crime'. 

Paris wanted to tell him the crime that occurred wasn't just the death of Doyle. What came out was, "No, I won't apologize for your stupidity." 

She tried to go back to rotations, tried to save the lives she was supposed to save. It was all fucking mundane. It was all fucking pointless. She couldn't see the value in what she was doing. She wanted to do something that actually mattered. 

Getting accepted into Law School was harder than getting accepted into Medical School. Her name had a taint to it, a hollowness that chased her across the country. The contempt of court charge didn't help. 

Paris E. G. McMaster was not going to be stopped by something as simple as her name.

She'd need a new one. 

She had no family ties in the States, not anymore. She had no real attachment to anyone she'd be leaving behind-- possibly Rory, but Rory hadn't so much as commented on Facebook in months, or emailed. Or texted. Even a fucking snapchat would have been nice.

Bonnie was her mother's middle name; a name she never used, and would probably hate Paris for using. But Paris liked it. It reminded her of who she was; that fiercely independent girl desperate to set the world on fire. Some of that still remained. 

Winterbottom was a character in some X-Box game that Doyle played. 

That settled it then; a link to her family, and a link to her lover. 

She kept Eustice as a middle name. If Rory (and it would only be Rory) looked hard enough, she'd be able to find Paris by that. 

A change of appearance always went along with a change in identity, and this time was no different; she slacked hacked off her long blonde locks. She couldn't go brunette though. She was a blonde, and she was going to stay that way. 

Thank god for platinum dye. 

She was accepted to Middleton, Yale, and Columbia. 

She picked Middleton. It was a good place to start over. 

Right away, she caught the attention of Annalise by being slightly older than the rest of the law students. How Annalise could tell was beyond her, since Paris thought she still looked twelve. 

Annalise Keating was pushy, demanding, and from the very second Bonnie laid eyes on her professor she knew she was in love with her 

Bonnie wanted to be her. Bonnie wanted to worship at the altar of her feet. Bonnie wanted to do nothing but push against dick judges and prosecutors with her.

Bonnie had to prove herself, first.

* * *

The first time Bonnie proved herself, she agreed to blow a cop for some evidence. It was the first time she'd had any sex since Doyle's death, and she attacked the cop's penis vigorously, as though she were trying to suck the life-blood out of it. Not only did it get her the evidence she needed, it got her an in to the Department. Annalise had her own in, Bonnie knew, an officer she was likely having an affair with, but doubling up was better. Annalise was having a full-blown affair; Bonnie was having sex. There was a difference. Bonnie would fuck whomever just to win a case; Annalise hadn't yet crossed that boundary. 

Paris would have been aghast. Paris would have slapped her in the face and told her that Geller women were stronger than this. 

Paris would have died without having sex again. 

Paris was an idiot, sometimes. 

She missed it, sometimes. Yale and Chilton and Rory. She would follow Rory on the news; Rory was always traveling with the press pool. Lorelai Gilmore, Reporter. Rory had known what she wanted, and got it. 

She didn't miss Madeline and Louise that much. She missed being Paris sometimes, the romantic name, the romantic life, Even after losing everything before she’d even graduated college, Paris was still going to make it work. Paris was going to be a Doctor, and save the world. 

Paris was a naive little moron.

Paris didn't understand how the real world worked, how it kicked at you until you were broken, and then, just to make sure you were truly beaten, kicked you again. 

Bonnie was smarter than that. Bonnie wasn't going to let herself be blindsided again. Bonnie was smart, cool, collected, and Annalise trusted her. She was smart as a whip, and she had the defining trait of not giving one solid fuck about anything other than their next victory in court. 

Bonnie was a minion. Paris would find that laughable. Paris had spent her whole life fighting against the idea of being anyone's minion. Bonnie didn't care. Bonnie got shit done with Annalise. Bonnie got to actually be someone she liked, and she didn't even need a life coach.

That was why Annalise had picked her, she was certain. Annalise, who only hired lawyers that she had modeled and shaped, didn't have to shape much of Bonnie. Then again, Annalise had _made_ Bonnie, without knowing it; Bonnie didn't have much to her existence until she found Annalise to shape herself around. Bonnie was already caustic, but submissive. Bonnie was perfect. 

Bonnie had survived three years of law school, three years of every beating that had been handed to her, and had stood, triumphant, at the end. 

Even Annalise had told her, "You scare me sometimes," before officially offering her the job. 

She was definitely aware that young lawyers lusted after her, and she played that up in court, to Annalise and Frank's amusement. Once a junior DA had dribbled coffee down his shirt while Bonnie presented to the Court. 

They won that case. Frank didn't think it was very fair, but that was Frank. So childish underneath those impossibly impeccable suits.

Frank took this jealousy out on the students, fucking one of the girls from each group of first years, every year without fail. 

Bonnie would never admit she found it a bit amusing, to watch him squirm under them, trying to get one of them to latch on to him. 

"Stop sleeping with the students, Frank," was her mantra

Frank would look ashamed. For maybe a day. Then he'd go back to his shameless flirting ways, and she'd roll her eyes, and mutter, "This can only end badly."

And yes, it did. In tears. Somehow, no matter how bitchy Bonnie’s exterior, the little brats thought they could come to her and trust her with their secrets. It was like Rory and bloody Tristan all over again. 

It was Frank who had finally dug up her past, looking on some dirt on her. Frank could be an asshole. Bonnie had never looked up anything on Frank, because her level of giving a fuck about Frank and his life was less than zero. 

Frank might have been expecting a pat on the back, but Annalise had shrugged it off. 

Bonnie wasn't a complete bitch. After some champagne to celebrate their newest victory, after Annalise and Sam had gone to bed, before the first years came and infiltrated their office (Bonnie, in true-to-her-roots Paris fashion, swore she was never as idiotic as every first year class seemed to be), she told Frank the whole story. 

"Let me get this straight," Frank said, leaning against Annalise's kitchen counter. "You became a lawyer because the man who killed your husband was sent to prison for the rest of his life?"

She waved the cracker she was eating around. "I never said I was rational. But yes. He didn't deserve prison for the rest of his life, and the judge was trying to prove a point. The judge was an idiot." 

Frank said nothing, only stared at her for a moment. "You're insane," he said, letting out a low chuckle. "Absolutely insane. He killed your husband!"

"And if he'd been able to afford Annalise, he wouldn't have served any time at all," Bonnie said. 

"Somewhere, your husband is rolling in his grave," Frank said. Bonnie shrugged, not rising to Frank's bait. "I still don’t get where this necessitated changing your name?"

"Fresh start. We all want them; I got one." 

"Smart."

She let Frank fuck her that night, just for that comment.


End file.
